“It’s haunted.”
Johnny nodded at the man sitting across from him. “Okay.”
“Seriously,” he said, setting his cup of tea on the low table in front of his chair. “I know it sounds crazy, but my house is haunted.”
“I do believe you, Tom,” Johnny said. “It’s kind of my business to believe these things. So, tell us, what’s been going on?”
They were sitting in the living room of Johnny’s house. Johnny sat in an upholstered chair. His partner, Cerise, sat on a low rocker next to him. Their visitor was seated on the sofa across from Johnny. He looked in his mid-thirties, with brown hair and eyes. He was dressed in tan slacks and a burgundy polo shirt.
“Well,” Tom said. “I bought the house a month ago. It’s been on the market for a while, and when I started looking into why, I found multiple mentions on the internet about the house being haunted.” He gave Johnny an apologetic look. “No offense, but I gotta admit I didn’t put much stock in that. Never really believed in ghosts and such, you know.”
Cerise snorted. “Most people don’t. And better off for it, probably.” She indicated the mug sitting on the table. “More tea?”
Tom shook his head. “No, thanks. I’m more of a coffee guy. Anyway, to get back to the house. It’s a nice place. Used to belong to the guy who owned the lumber mill on the mountain. When he died, the family decided to sell the place and it’s been sitting there, empty, ever since. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was going to be perfect for me. Not too big, but not the three-room apartment I have been living in. Nice yard, seems like a good neighborhood, although none of the neighbors are too close. I moved in after the closing and a couple days later,” he hesitated. “Stuff started happening. I can’t explain it.”
‘What sort of stuff?” Johnny asked.
“Okay, well, one morning, I was getting ready for work. I’m in sales, by the way, and I had a meeting with a potential new client that could mean a big order and commission, so I wanted to make sure I made a good impression. I laid out my suit and shirt on the bed, and was trying to decide what tie to wear. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and think about it, and when I came out.” He stopped, an unsure look on his face.
“And when you came out, what?” Johnny prompted.
“This is gonna sound crazy,” Tom said, running a hand through his hair. “But when I came out, there was a tie laid out on the bed with my suit and shirt.”
“Did it match?” Cerise asked. Tom nodded quickly.
“Oh, yeah, it was perfect. But I didn’t take it out of the closet. I hadn’t decided on a tie yet. It was- weird.”
Johnny and Cerise exchanged a look.
“So, it’s a helpful ghost?” Johnny asked.
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Tom said. “I mean, he-it- whatever hasn’t done anything mean or destructive, if that’s what you mean. It’s a lot of little things, mostly. The tie. I cook dinner and find the table set for me when the food is ready. If I leave a glass or coffee mug in the living room or my home office, I find it in the kitchen even though I know I didn’t move it. And the last couple nights, the bed’s been turned down when I go upstairs, like in those fancy hotels.” The words had been coming faster and faster as he described the ghost’s behaviors. He stopped, and drew a long breath, letting it out slowly. “You do think I’m crazy. I can tell by your looks.”
“No, I don’t think you’re crazy.” Johnny said. He glanced at Cerise. “It’s just that, well, most people who come to us with an, um, otherworldly problem have more unpleasant interactions with their hauntings. Your case is kind of unusual.”
“But you can help me, right?”
“Figure out what’s going on? And who your helpful spirit might be? Yeah, we can probably help you out there. How about if we come by the house tomorrow morning?”
“That would be great,” Tom said. Johnny walked him to the door, and they said good-bye.
When Cerise arrived at Johnny’s the next morning, he was loading a small wooden trunk into the back seat of his faded yellow sedan.
“Expecting trouble?” Cerise asked.
“Not especially,” Johnny replied. “But you never know with ghosts. Imps, sprites, even higher order demons, you’ve got an idea what to expect. Ghosts are as different as people are, and since we don’t know whose ghost this is, I think be prepared is a good philosophy.” He leaned into the car and retrieved the silver yo-yo that was lying on top of the trunk. He dropped it into his jeans pocket. “I guess we’re ready.”
Cerise held out a lidded paper cup as he turned around. “I brought coffee. Well, for you. I have tea. From that new place on Sixth.”
Johnny took his cup with a grin. “Thanks. Just what I needed.” He climbed into the driver’s seat and Cerise got in the passenger side. She winced as the old car’s engine whined and ground when Johnny turned the key.
“Maybe I should have gotten coffee for the car,” she said. Johnny just shook his head and turned the key again. With a final groan and shudder, the engine caught and sputtered to life.
“See? She’s just a little cranky in the morning,” Johnny said as he pulled out of the driveway. “A little coaxing and she’s good.”
They drove to the address Tom gave them and pulled into the driveway.
“Nice place,” Cerise commented. The house was big, but not massive. It had a brick front, with columns on the front porch. A large picture window let in the morning sun on one side, and three tall, divided windows split the front on the other. Smaller windows lined the second story. At each end of the roof, brick chimneys rose into the blue sky. The front yard was broken into several gardens, well-tended and neat. Rows of cypress formed privacy barriers on all sides, hiding the property from the neighbors. The whole impression was understated wealth.
“Not bad,” Johnny agreed as he parked the car in front of the double garage doors. They got out and Johnny reached into the back seat to get his trunk. They climbed the short flight of stairs to the door. Johnny rang the bell, and a few moments later, Tom opened the door.
“Good morning,” he said. “You’re just in time.” He gestured them in with the mug in his hand. Johnny and Cerise stepped into the small foyer.
“In time for what?” Johnny asked.
“The morning’s fun,” Tom said, leading them into the kitchen. He was wearing navy sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Today, I don’t have any sales calls, so I was planning to do some paperwork here at home. I put on these.” He indicated his casual clothes. “And came downstairs to the kitchen, where, by the way, a pot of coffee was already brewing.”
Johnny and Cerise glanced at the coffee maker on the counter. The pot was mostly full, and there were two mugs sitting next to it.
“Oh, that’s new,” Tom remarked. “I didn’t put those out. But would you like some coffee?”
“Um, sure, thanks,” Johnny said.
“Not for me,” Cerise said. “I’m a tea drinker.”
Tom filled a mug from the coffee maker and handed it to Johnny. “Milk? Sugar?”
Johnny shook his head and reached for the mug. “Black is fine. So, was there anything else this morning?”
“Oh, yeah,” Tom said. “When I went back upstairs, there were clothes laid out on the bed. Casual, not a suit and tie, but still.”
“Seems your ghost thinks that even working from home, you should dress the part, huh?” Cerise said.
Tom made a face. “Not gonna happen. I like being comfortable when I can.”
They were standing at the small kitchen table, the two men sipping their coffee as they talked.
“Is that tea I smell?” Cerise asked. On the countertop next to the coffee maker was a china cup and saucer, with the string and tag of a tea bag hanging over the edge of the cup. Cerise crossed the kitchen, climbed up on the stool at the counter, and picked up the cup, sipping the hot liquid.
“Oh, this is nice,” she said. She looked toward the pantry at the end of the room. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome?” Tom said. “I didn’t even know I had a teacup like that. But a lot of stuff came with the house, and I haven’t had time to go through it all.”
Cerise turned to him. “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your ghost. He’s in there.” She tipped her cup toward the pantry.
“Daemonflash?” Johnny asked. Cerise was half-demon and able to see the trace of light, invisible to most people, that marked the presence of an otherworld spirit.
“Sort of,” she answered. “Not the crackly green stuff that’s usual. This is more hazy. Sort of like fog, only more solid, or something. I think it’s the ghost.”
Johnny nodded. “Well, then, let’s all get acquainted, shall we?”
He set his mug on the table next to the small trunk he brought in. The wood was worn smooth with age and use to a soft reddish brown. Johnny pulled a gold chain from around his neck and used the key on it to open the lock on the trunk. He dropped the chain around his neck again and lifted the lid. The inside was lined with dark silk, padded to protect the items it contained. He reached in and pulled out a squat white candle, a curved metal candle dish, matches, and a stick of what looked like charcoal. He pushed the trunk to one side, and set the candle on the stand in the center of the table. He lit the candle and picked up the charcoal.
“I’m going to draw a summoning circle,” Johnny explained. “And then, we’ll see who your ghost is, and what’s going on.” He began to sketch a circle on the tabletop, cutting it into four quadrants with lines that intersected at the burning candle. Reaching into the trunk again, he lifted out a small ebony box, inlaid with a border of colored squares. He opened the box and arranged the contents in the four quarters of the circle- a piece of clear quartz, a small dagger, a piece of iron ore, and a crow’s feather. He set the box back in the trunk, and pulled the silver yo-yo out of his pocket. He began to throw it out and back from his hand. Swish-hiss. Swish-hiss.
Tom looked at Cerise, who shrugged. “It helps him concentrate.”
Tom watched as Johnny’s breathing slowed and deepened in time with the yo-yo’s back and forth. He took a step forward and dropped the yo-yo to the tabletop inside the circle, letting it spin in a prolonged Walk the Dog around the inner border. As it slowed, Johnny called out.
“Aperol!”
“The drink?” Tom whispered.
“He’s a little unconventional,” Cerise replied. “But he gets results.” As she spoke the flame on the candle flickered although none of the people in the room felt any movement of air. The flame went out for a moment, then flared back to life. The yo-yo was standing on its edge in front of the candle dish, the flame reflecting in the silver surface. There was silence for a short time, then a voice came from behind them in the kitchen.
“That was hardly necessary. You don’t need to demand I appear. All you had to do was ask.” The voice was mellow and not quite accented, but the tone and phrasing brought a British voice to mind. The three people turned toward the sound. Standing in the kitchen was a man. “My name is James, by the way.”
He was tall and slim, with neatly cut hair and a thin moustache. He wore dark trousers with a crisp crease, a white shirt, striped tie, and wing tip shoes. He was clearly visible, but there was something not quite solid about him, as if he might fade into smoke.
“And you’re our ghost?” Johnny asked. James smiled.
“No,” he said, turning his gaze to Tom. “I am his ghost. I belong to the house.” Tom sloshed coffee from his mug at James’ words. The ghost was at his side almost instantly, wiping the spill from the tabletop and floor.
“Okay,” Johnny said. “What do you mean, you come with the house? Has it always been haunted?”
“Of course not,” James said. “When Mr. Ralston bought it, it was just a house. Until I died. I didn’t like what came after, so I returned here.”
“You didn’t like being dead, so you came back here? To clean house?” Cerise looked up at the tall ghost. “And make tea? Which is very good, by the way.”
“Thank you,” James said. “It’s a special blend Mr. Ralston enjoyed. I am afraid we are almost out, though.” He sighed. “To answer your question, yes, I came back to clean the house and make tea. Along with many other tasks. Mr. Ralston hired me to make sure the house ran efficiently. We had a service for a bit, while Mrs. Ralston was alive and the children were young. But after they grew up and left, and Rosa died, well, it was easy for me to keep up with the place. Until.” He stopped.
“Until?” Tom spoke for the first time. “You said you died. What happened?”
James took a deep breath. “I was out running some errands. Groceries, dry cleaning, and such. I was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green and I started across the intersection, a drunk driver ran the red light and hit my car. I understand I was killed instantly. It left old Mr. Ralston rather at loose ends with no one to take care of things.”
“Sucks. I hope they got the guy that hit you,” Tom said.
“I believe they did,” James said. “At least, that’s what Mr. Ralston said when I returned.”
“Okay, let’s talk about that,” Johnny said. “You decided to come back? I didn’t know that was possible. I thought ghosts hung around because of unfinished business or some trauma that needs dealing with. I didn’t think you could just decide to come back.”
“Oh, of course it’s possible,” James said with a wave of his hand. “It’s just that most don’t choose to. For me, hanging about with other spirits being dead didn’t leave me content. I like to be of use and here, I can be. I kept the place in shape while no one lived here, and now, I can help our new owner as I always have.”
“He makes it sound like it’s perfectly normal for everyone to have a ghost for a butler,” Cerise said.
“I know,” Johnny replied. “Well, look, James. It’s great that you think it’s fun to hang around and help out, but you need to stay dead and let Tom here live his own life.” He reached to the table and picked up his yo-yo. He began to throw it out and back in James’ direction. Swish-hiss. Swish-hiss. After a few warm-up throws, he pulled the string attached to his finger up with the other hand, forming a triangle with the yo-yo hanging from the top point, forming Rock the Baby. “It’s time for you to begonia!” He dropped the string, and the yo-yo began to fall. Before it reached the end of the string, James lunged forward and grabbed it, pulling it from Johnny’s hands.
“No!” he cried. “I can’t go back! It’s so—boring!!” In a flash of silver light, the yo-yo disappeared, and James was surrounded by a deep red glow. “I will not go back!” The house began to shake, rattling windows, and making the appliances and other things on the countertops dance. Lightning flashed in the windows and deep rumbles of thunder rolled. The sky outside the windows grew darker. Cerise’s teacup, which she had set on the counter, rattled off the edge and shattered on the floor. Johnny reached across the table and pulled his trunk closer. He dug inside it and pulled out a velvet bag. Pulling open the drawstring, he dumped a second silver yo-yo into his hand.
“Good thing I travel with a spare,” he said as he slid the string’s loop around his finger. He stepped into the kitchen in front of James. The yo-yo was spinning out and back to Johnny’s hand rapidly. Swish-hiss, swish-hiss, swish-hiss. When he was almost to the point where he could reach out and touch the ghost, he dropped the yo-yo into a Sleeper, letting it roll forward on the floor as he knelt on one knee behind the toy. The yo-yo rolled past James and began a stuttering return across the floor to Johnny.
“Let’s see you escape the Creeper!” Johnny said as the yo-yo began to pull the ghost with it. Tendrils of hazy red smoke followed the yo-yo’s clattering roll back to Johnny.
James stretched out one hand, pointing a finger at the yo-yo that was trying to drag him back to the afterlife. A stream of fire ran from his hand to the yo-yo’s string, causing it to glow red and start to burn.
“Oh, no, you don’t!” Johnny said. With a quick flip of his wrist, he began swinging the yo-yo in a circle, faster with each revolution. The streak of fire from James’ hand began to climb up the string toward Johnny’s hand. The spinning yo-yo kept the flames from consuming the string, but they didn’t go out. The ghost and Johnny stood in the kitchen, locked in the battle for control. The house was shaking visibly now, and cracks began to form on the walls and ceiling. Johnny’s teeth were clenched with the effort to control the ghost and his dirty blond hair was damp with perspiration. For his part, James was beginning to fade from the almost substantial form he’d first taken and become hazy and opaque. When a cabinet door flew open and a stack of plates crashed off the shelf, Tom stepped into the kitchen.
“Stop! Both of you!”
Neither Johnny nor James seemed to hear, so Tom took another step to put himself right next to the battle.
“I said, STOP!!!” This time, the two combatants heard. The yo-yo fell to the ground, string smoking and ashy looking. The red glow around James faded and he returned to his original form. They both looked at Tom.
“You’re going to wreck the house if you keep this up,” Tom said.
“He’s not going on his own,” Johnny replied. “It’s not going to be easy, but I can get rid of him.”
“I will not go back!” was all James said. They stood glaring at each other.
“What if I just said he could stay?”
James, Johnny, and Cerise all looked at Tom. He shrugged.
“I mean, he’s not hurting anything.”
Johnny raised an eyebrow as he looked at the mess of broken dishes on the floor.
“Okay, well, not until you started trying to get rid of him,” Tom said. “Honestly, it was kind of nice having him doing some of the house stuff. And he did pick out the perfect tie the other day. I could use someone like that around to help.”
James inclined his head. “If you don’t try to send me back to that awful and boring world of the dead, I promise not to try to bring the house down again.”
“Deal,” Tom said.
“Excellent. Now, if you all will excuse me, I have some cleaning up to do.” James disappeared into the pantry to return a moment later with a dustpan and broom. He began to sweep up the broken dishes on the floor. “Ah, well, that’s too bad. That teacup was a favorite of mine.”
Johnny looked at Cerise, who shrugged. “His decision.” She glanced at Tom, who was watching James. Johnny nodded. He picked up the yo-yo from where he’d let it fall at his feet. The string dissolved into a drift of ash that settled slowly.
“You ought to buy stock in that toy company,” Cerise commented as they gathered up the summoning tokens and packed them back in the trunk.
“I know,” Johnny said. They let themselves out and Johnny shoved the trunk onto the back seat of the car. Cerise got in the passenger seat, and Johnny started to climb into the driver’s side. He stopped and reached to pick up something on the seat. It was a silver yo-yo, with a new, clean string wound on it. The yo-yo itself gleamed in the sun, as if it had been cleaned and shined. Johnny put it into his pocket.
“Maybe a ghost butler isn’t the worst thing a guy could have.”
And So On... 